Lots of Talking, but Who's Listening?

Lots of us are talking — but is anyone really listening?

Sure, we hear each other. But most of us aren’t truly listening.
Instead, we’re listening through a filter — scanning for what we agree with, or bracing for what we don’t.

Think about it:
How often, in conversation, do you jump in the moment you hear something you agree with?
“Yes! Me too!”
Or, on the flip side, when you disagree, do you catch yourself gearing up to defend your point — or maybe shutting down altogether?

But what if that’s not actually listening?

What if listening isn't about agreeing or disagreeing — but about seeking value in what the other person is saying?
 

What if, instead of filtering everything through our perspective, we got curious: What can I learn from this? What’s important to them? What are they really trying to say?

Imagine what would happen if we listened that way.
There would be a lot less arguing — and a lot more learning, understanding, and connection.

Thank you to Tim Timbeck and Steve Chandler for introducing me to this way of listening in The Power of Systems. I’m continually amazed at what happens when I practice it:

• People feel heard, valued, and respected.

• I actually learn — not just about them, but about myself.

• Conversations become opportunities for growth, not just battlegrounds for being right.

Here’s a simple way to practice this kind of listening:
Next time you’re in a conversation, pause your inner commentary. Instead of asking, “Do I agree with this?” ask:
👉 “What’s valuable here?”
👉 “What’s this person trying to share with me?”
👉 “What can I learn if I set my ego aside?”

Just imagine if even 5% of us committed to listening like that — truly, deeply.
The impact would ripple out in ways we can't even fully comprehend — and the world would be a better place, almost overnight.

So here’s the challenge:
⚡ Be the person who listens to understand — not to respond.
⚡ Be the one who makes others feel heard.
⚡ Start today.

Because the world doesn’t need more noise. It needs people willing to truly listen.